“I was driving at the time and nearly swerved off the road.”
Eddie Howe, upon hearing Newcastle’s car crash of an FA Cup draw, was paired with Manchester City.
SNP MP’s tweet backfires
What’s the most uncomfortable Twitter/X ‘community note’ this week? We’ll go with the one that featured on Scottish National Party MP David Linden’s tweet from Wembley after Liverpool defeated Chelsea in the League Cup final.
The tweet reads, “Dockers 1-0 Hedge Funders. It’s what you prefer to see.”
A remark from the community: “Readers added context they thought people might want to know: Liverpool FC is owned by the Fenway Sports Group the Co-Founder of which is John W. Henry, a hedge fund manager.”
Linden acted sensibly by turning off the opportunity to respond to his tweet; there could only be so many “ha, ha, ha” comments he could handle.
NUMBER: 19
That’s how many minutes it took Cristiano Ronaldo to earn the €7,000 fine he received from the Saudi FA for making a ‘obscene’ gesture at the end of a recent match. Crippling.
WORD OF MOUTH
“He’d suit Lazio better because [Maurizio] Sarri is already familiar with his traits, but he’d also suit Juventus, who have a fantastic director of sport in Cristiano Giuntoli, whom he worked with at Napoli for many years. I wouldn’t rule out a return to Napoli under new coach [Francesco] Calzona. When it comes to strength and tradition, everyone wants to play for Milan and Inter.”
Joao Santos, Jorginho’s agent, is preparing him for a move from Arsenal to half of Serie A.
“I told John that I’d pursue balls into the bushes or go look for players, whatever he needed. I’m glad he thinks I have something to offer international football after all these years.”
Welcome back Brian Kerr, interim Irish manager John O’Shea’s new technical advisor.
“You’re just a s**t Andy Carroll.”
Forest fans serenaded Darwin Nunez as he came on as a substitute for Liverpool on Saturday. What about his 99th-minute winner? The serenading ended.
Rishi Sunak is the caretaker prime manager.
Football analogy of the Week? We’ll go with the one suggested by author Nels Abbey on LBC last Tuesday, when he chatted with Nick Ferrari.
“Rishi Sunak is at best a caretaker manager, with no public mandate. I wouldn’t even call him Sam Allardyce, Avram Grant, or Roberto Di Matteo; he’s Glenn Roeder – at best.
Roeder died in 2021. It appears that Abbey believes Sunak’s prime ministerial career will end with the next election.
MORE WORD OF MOUTH
“Arteta would definitely quit Arsenal to join Manchester United. If Manchester United, in a strange dream, stated Arteta was at the top of the list, Arteta would go in and tell the players, “Listen guys, it’s been emotional, but I’ve got to move, I’ve got to go.”
Rio Ferdinand is in need of smelling salts.
“When I got at City, Brian Kidd told me, ‘Carabao Cup, don’t pay attention! Play young players; nobody cares. Sir Alex Ferguson was continuously saying, ‘ugh, it doesn’t matter’. “I have no idea what happened in the last few years!”
Pep Guardiola miaowed in Jurgen Klopp’s direction following the German’s Carabao Cup victory celebrations.
“I read about how I merely came here for a holiday. Make no mistake: if I wanted a vacation, I would have chosen a warmer destination.”
A shivering Neil Warnock dismisses a question regarding his motivation for taking the Aberdeen position.
